Jazzology!!!

ANGST!!!!!!!

2011-08-11T01:14:00.003+08:00

What happened to the freedom of/to love???

Why is it that we are cornered in virtually everything
AND
I have to technically fault a friend
SIMPLY FOR
telling selective truth about liking
and
NOT revealing enough about her private life?

Is it that God is trying to exert HIS STRESS on TWO 20 year old kids?

IS IT THAT GOD'S CONSPIRACY IS NOTHING MORE THAN HIS OWN JEALOUSY THAT CAN CONSUME 2 people without explicit consent?

ANGSTY mans.

LOL.

jess.

random.com

2010-09-19T21:00:00.002+08:00

Just buzzing thoughts off my head.

I've discovered (the hard way) that it is impossible to unlike a person
(so facebook was right to not have an unlike button).
I mean like i've been thinking about X a looottt,
ok but we don't need to know what X is.
[if you like, X is a constant variable.]

universal studios was awesome and seriously i wouldn't mind working inside, even as a cleaner or something.
thank god i got a free ticket to go in and spend an amazing 3 hours in there.
ugh the photo uploading will prob. take a whole load of a long time.
actl i dunno if i would welcome battlestar galactica being functional.
i mean, i'm not an adventure-seeking jess and would 99.9% not take the ride.
Ditto the 0.1% though.

someone in my office commented last week that jess "was a pussy name".
seriously, if you want to know, its all the jessies, jesslyns and jessicas that make the root name feminine. HEY!~ google spellcheck didn't red-underline jess as a wrongly spelt word. :)

I MEAN: Don't jesse and jesus BOTH have 'jess' in them?>??
Aren't they both glorious guy names?

Aargghhh./
Didn't go to church today. ask my headache and sore throat why.

I think girls are better at science

2010-06-06T19:26:00.001+08:00

This is super cool.

You have completed the Gender - Science IAT.
Your Result
Your data suggest a strong association of Female with Science and Male with Liberal Arts compared to Male with Science and Female with Liberal Arts.

Thank you for your participation. Just below is a breakdown of the scores generated by others. Most respondents find it easier to associate Male with Science and Female with Liberal Arts compared to the reverse.

ARMY

2010-01-27T17:18:00.003+08:00

Haha i've just been through 2.5 weeks in army.
VERY FUN.
aircon in an office, ppl saying lame/sick jokes, superiors using coarse language,
FUNFUNFUN without the stress. of training.

I do slightly regret having been classed as pes e (for excellent), and not going through bmt is NOT a good thing. though it is appropriate for me la, SINCE IM A SLACKER.

otherwise, i really think that despite the droll nature of work, its a different experience la.
although the lack of xx people within a 300 metre radius is er. well. bad.

i really dunno why the ppl i (words censored) are catholics, rather than christians.
weird right.

i'm proud of my uniform.
IT'S NICER THAN THE HWACHONG ONE ;)

oh, and guess what, people are addressing me exclusively by my christian name again.
-jes(u)s

LIBERATION

2010-01-02T19:41:00.001+08:00

Its actl quite liberating to be a tutor, rather than taught by JC tutors.
:)

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

2010-01-02T19:36:00.001+08:00

These are my New Year Resolutions:
1. To complete NS, satisfactorily
2. To not die after A-s results release
3. To play a more active role in church
4. To play more piano, classical+pop
5. To play more sports
6. To control emotions
7. To dao gossip
8. To teach tuition
9. To not be able to be lifted by people as though i'm a featherweight (actl. i am.)
10. To *** **** *** ******* ** 2010
:)
-jiahao

year-enddd!!!

2009-12-31T15:48:00.002+08:00

31 dec should be a day of reflection, and looking forward.
many things have happened this year.
incl. a very extended episode involving a few people, that can seriously be made into a hollywood movie, if someone had a $1 million budget at hand.

this year taught me that jc life is really a lot more than studies, and i do regret having not studied enough, after all. (this is according to my original goal of starting to study in JUNE! i started only after prelims. screwwwed.)

ah well, life was brighter this year however.
cos of cell, classmates, and someone else.
(not bad, cell and else rhyme, partially.)
adding colour to your life is kinda fun, rather than going for grades alone.

(i STILL feel damn guilty for getting 57/200 for math though. got problem one, the paper. and i got problem one.
now i KEEP getting whacked by my father for math. figures.)

looking back, i seriously don't think i would change anything, if i could.
i have had no regrets this year, cos i stuck fast to what i believed in, wavered somewhat, and there. (i won't use come full circle, don't feel literary now.)

im more firmly anchored in my christian faith, which is really good.
God rocks and ppl can throw stones at me, i'll just stone there and don't care.
yeah.

to everyone out there, happy new year.

looking forward, i REALLY want to pick up sports.
its nv too late to learn anything i find.
well, i ALSO want to chiong my theory, grade 5 nia.
need to get grade 8.

and i really want to get a life in NS.

i also really want to hold fast to my current friendships.
and thank you everyone who has been my friend.
i know i'm kinda hard to deal with, and v. v. crazy sometimes,
thanks for tolerating my jokes and nonsense.
some friends fade away, others don't.
guess time will tell.

love is a beautiful thing.
to all those out there that are in love,
cherish the times you share tgt.

life is too short to be worth quarrelling around.

feel like writing a song now.\
going to pray.
:)

colorgenics

2009-12-03T00:14:00.002+08:00

Colorgenics is darn accurate.

You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your 'love for your fellow man (or women)' will give you peace of mind. You need people - people around you to care for you and to show you that they care. It is this hope that keeps you going, the hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding. You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.
--> :)

You like the better things in life. You are sensuous and emotional. You are a follower of the Arts and you seek an environment that will give you the fulfilment to the senses that you need.
-->self-explanatory

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.
-->maybe my thoughts torment me.

From every direction there appear to be unwarranted restrictions on your freedom of action and this is producing considerable stress. You're really looking for independence and freedom from any restriction and therefore avoiding any obligations or anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressures and you would like nothing better than to escape from them but you tend to lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this. Whichever way you turn you are being frustrated. You need to be free to do your 'thing' in your own way.
-->er. parents la.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!
-->ya. but then. who cares?
i kind of think i disqualify all positives. church is a HUGE PLUS.
i'm not valued for who i am cos there's always scores which bores.

This was what it said last time, which i TOTALLY agree with.
You are a very choosy person - demanding and exacting in your emotional demands and
very particular in your choice of partner. You are self-sufficient and as a result of this overbearing nature you find it difficult to establish any depth of deep involvement with members of the opposite sex.

hurhur.

i think i would not be surprised if i get a crush on others anymore.
hell, you realise that your thoughts triumph over reality,
and you DON'T see clearly when you crush on people.

[i'm a hopeless romantic. its really silly.]

i think i would jump down 15 storeys if anyone has a crush on me man.
i REALLY think i will choke/do something amazingly stupid if that happens.
HAHA.

i will not be entering into a r/ship anytime soon
(as if anyone would want me actually HAHA).
i'm too emotionally confused, immature, and unstable.

well to all bio-ians out there, good luck!
last hurdle, race ends.

the summary part

2009-12-01T17:13:00.003+08:00

So. i firmly believe my christian name is God-given.
no doubt about that.
BUT. its not natural i think, since an American once told me 'jess' is UNCOMMON in america even. 'jesse' is far more common BUT it sounds like 'jessie'.
so what if i have an androgynous name.
so do i play ball with my identity>?

haha.
i'm quite an introvert.
i don't like going out more than 3 times a week.
i'm like my father? who's a hardcore loner.
lucky i have church and a comfortable circle of friends.

oh AND i MUST talk about the double jess-eric joke.
it's like funny from my perspective.
do i like all the 3 people? yes.
haha i think 2 are mysterious, and the last i know real well.
or: 2 are introverted, and 1 is extroverted.
(i'm like intro-extro tendencies.)
or: i get along with all of them, in completely different ways.
its REALLY hard to get eric to talk, which the OTHER jess does extremely well.
this is like quite funny.
like i spend like say 3 years knowing him, and she spends 2.
and 3<2.
HAHA. power tends to infinite.

okok that's as far as the joke goes.
i'm glad it turns out this way.

Confusion grips you like a ninja until you throw it off, and impale it on the cross.
of Christ. :)

errr.
jc life...
helped me discover my identity.
in a weird way.
i find that despite my english, summarising who i am in
10 words is impossible.
LIKE. IMPOSSIBLE.
but i guess having a female person with the same name as you helps you to figure yourself out.
and being in an independent HP class with rules unto yourself help to.
being late for school, funny in class, alfred, dominic, and talking randomly to
many people have helped me to realise who i am...
am i a messed up person?
i mean there are times i'm extremely LUCID about who i am.
other times i think i'm un-male.
other times i think i have 2 selfs (the loud and quiet one.)

GP:
kinda dumb. writing about how religion influenced political decisions?
Math:
grrr. if i get. er. E=>excellent.
Lit:
okok really fun.
History:
booooring. miles jokes were interesting though.
Econs:
lest i get seized by Barnard's Inn's spirit, i shan't comment.

ok.
friends made: er. fine.
maybe i wasn't aggressive enough, but i sure was over-aggressive at times.

skills learnt: really. zilch.
interpersonal. yes.
with a co-ed school, you could be shot without learning this.
but of course i can't say my relating skills have improved tremendously.
they probably did to some extent.

intelligence: standard.
i used to study REALLY hard in primary school, hard in sec school, but
not so in jc.
don't ask why.
a confluence of factors perhaps.

i feel.
tired.

the emo bit

2009-12-01T17:02:00.005+08:00

sat through ninja warrior. m18.
it kinda sits wrong in me.
i wonder how many litres of 'blood' they used.
was able to spot 1 wire in the movie.
informant sucks and got a 4 star rating.
this rawks and got a 2.5 star rating.
straits times got problem one.

anw i got my life direction figured out/
no relationships, just friendships, and
sports, swimming and slacking.

grrr moe teaching internship app NOT successful.
and i wasted like $50 on THAT.

life doesn't pay sometimes.

it hurts to be sensitive.
and i guess some things must be let go.
i really wonder what i will be like 2 years down the road.

wishes:
1. that i will be less emotionally f***ed up
2. that my average spoken sentence length will be like 10 or 15
3. that i can drop my double identity
(ie. i'm v talkative outside, but feel empty inside sometimes).

in fact i really wonder whether my name jess is a blessing or otherwise.
i mean. yup its unique, and stuff.
but i feel that friendships made by my name are like cheating.
HAHA. i think flirting is cheating too.

musings (great expectations)

2009-11-15T22:57:00.002+08:00

just reading great expectations and laughing out loud about
Pip's love/infatuation/obsession for Estella.
does it remind me of a similar personal experience?
well maybe, but mostly not.

i'm largely free of the stupid thoughts of Pip feeling he's
"assigned to Estella" and falling into his "poor labyrinth".
Nonetheless, i find that "the conventional notion of a lover cannot be always true" since most guys crush on girls for the most senseless reasons.
[oh, it is however true that guys get over crushes/episodes far easier than girls, since the feelings are hard-wired into the brain stem (determines habits like eating.sleeping etc) while the latter's go to the limbic/emotional system of the brain (ie. the mid-brain, amygdala, hippocampus area) that process emotions.
therefore, in this respect (neuroscience/psychology), it would be true to say that girls are affected by their feelings more than guys.]

Dickens describes love as a "wonderful inconsistency into which the best and wisest of men fall [into] every day" (p127). Well, one will have to accept this, since it would be contradictory to deny one's own feelings.

Then our supposed expert in relationships also says "Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day". (p71) Nonetheless, this would be true of BOTH same-sex/opposite gender r/ships, since r/ships are indeed ties that bind.

I really think Pip deserves empathy for his misplaced feelings for Estella, being goaded on by Miss Havisham.

Does this relate to my 18 years of living as a male?
Well lets just say everyone likes the certain members of the opposite gender at teenage years of life, nonetheless i won't see love as a 'wonderful inconsistency', since on an absolute basis, the definition of friendship as 'platonic love' can be seen as an inconsistency then, when it forms a cornerstone of our life.

Therefore I do not agree to Pip's love affair with Estella.
i do concur, however, that i find myself quite affected by feelings,
and i'm quite un-male, despite my outward character.
(I feel emasculated (ie. made less male) by my christian name sometimes, tt can't really be helped larz seriously.)

i, however, do not allow myself to be obsessed with my emotions.
yup.

lit's on tuesday. explains why i post this.

study!

2009-10-06T21:05:00.000+08:00

I really like school now.
It's so fun, and it's so funny.
and i need to bury myself and be consumed in/consume books
RIGHT NOW.

MEOW:)

wedding! :)

2009-10-04T00:36:00.002+08:00

and a chinese occasion allows me to er. be funny and me.

5.5 standard drinks
(key: 1. let oxygen flow into the brain by yawning
2. maintain your heart rate around your resting heart rate
3. dilute drink (water please)
4. moderate (ie/ don't get crazy and drink 10! standard drinks).)

lol some flamboyant flamenco male guitarists came,and i sang
'I'm Yours' with the lead singer. (er. Jason Mraz)

I am freaking not going to post the video (but it may enter facebook or sth),
but it was DARN FUNNY,
and i brought the house down.

IT WAS A TOTAL SUCCESS.
i have a music talent that i used to raise the atmosphere :)

haha.
i feel super happy now. :)

love is in the air :)

2009-09-28T17:29:00.002+08:00

What with XX and XY chromosomes sparking off,
testosterone and oxytocin levels at an all-time high,
alevels around the corner.

One can't help but notice that school life has become so vibrant.

Love is a beautiful thing.
And no one should disrupt a r/ship.
Even if it means going to the extent of dying (figurative, pls don't die),
i strongly feel against stealing r/ships
Its like you're a robber.

:)
no more exams for 40 days.
phew:)

midpoint of XY

2009-09-20T01:01:00.002+08:00

where X is the start and Y marks the end.
of exams really.

the past 2 weeks have been mentally tiring for me.
because of
(1)arguments with parents
(2)emotional volatility (rmb i'm highly sensitive, and react emotionally to everything)
(3)exam. not stress, just the pressure to deliver.

yup, :)
CHURCHie....

HAHA

2009-08-31T19:20:00.000+08:00

i just solved a proof-like qn. super cool. pareto optimality achieved.
god reigns. shortest post ever.

piano masterclass

2009-08-28T20:03:00.002+08:00

Too chim piano techniques were explained in the yong siew toh piano masterclass by aries caces today.
He went like: dynamic indications are relative rather than absolute.
And the left hand plays a completely diff tune at a diff dynamic as the right hand.

i was awed, in the full sense of the word.

lyrics

2009-08-28T00:13:00.004+08:00

Just thought the lyrics are really meaningful. very good leh, inside the video got lyrics liao.

er., as to its relevance.
errrrr... maybe it relates to someone. or something. or somewhere. somewhat.
go figure.

but seriously. i think relationships are overrated nowadays.
esp it is supposed to be a norm between male and female to be a couple.
What happened to good ol' friendships?

oh and that said i really think i lost my primary school friend.
we just drifted off.
oh and i've made a friendship.
you're a great person, really.
i could write a whole essay about this.

barnard said something really deep today, like:
"Well when you grow old and look back into the past,
you realised the people you dated are ones you hate now.

there comes a point in your life where you just rationalise romantic feelings."
perhaps its the maturing process?

noooo...gp in 1 week.

UNFAIR!!!

2009-08-25T13:52:00.000+08:00

Ok I'm going to rant now.
Its very unfair to me, the name thingy.
Cos my name is unisex BUT
check this out:

A Jess is a person who is generous, talented and kindly. The name itself means "wealthy", and this is true, as a jess will always be rich in spirit and personality. Also used by some kids to mean "awesome".

this is the ONLY FAIR definition of my name. I like:)
not like those below.
[all definitions are lifted from urbandictionary.com]
3.

???
an extremely beautiful ?*girl*? who is the nicest, funniest, and all around most awesome person ever
I wish i could hang out with Jess right now...
???

4.

The meaning of awesomeness.
utterly *beautiful* and a amazing friend.

???She will make you laugh and giggle.
Shes too cool for pants.

or skirts.

if you ask her to pull her skirt down she will refuse.

Maths expert.
???

NOOOOO.

oh my OWN definition of jess:
to fool around in a humorous manner, engage in social banter.
[jess around]

y'know sometimes i should be more open on my blog.

i haven't recalled an occasion in which i had to be hollered at to get my attention. especially since guys should act nice around girls.

but then again, i am leaving out a large part of info that will make me seem utterly (insert non-complimentary adjective).

for the record, it isn't typical of me to ignore people.
i'm sorry that my attention got diverted momentarily. And I apologise.

At least i did cause some laughter among the crowd. :)

rantings

2009-08-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

church.
pst kong's birthday.
5 girls in my cell took picture with him.
hysterical screams after that.
(i often wonder, should i assert my authority as the most senior member of my own cell group and tell them off?)
SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME :)
nah its just typical female enthusiasm. can understand.

library book sale. fine and cool until i realised i needed to lug the books home through the whole MRT system (fr Expo to Clementi).

running in light rain.
haha the sun came out halfway.

i miss my theoretical posts alr.
but nothing to post abt theory lehz.

random

2009-08-22T23:53:00.002+08:00

so. 5 hours of tuition between 10.30 and 4.30pm.
bbq fish and veggie and half a plate of fried rice.
slacking.
apple pie at 11.45pm.

This is quite funny. haha.
and mcdonald's apple pies are seriously super.

church:) tmr

Summary of Personality Traits

2009-08-22T00:14:00.003+08:00

sleeps calling. will make this short.
I/I'm
-have an active imagination
-easygoing and active and energetic
-avoid interpersonal conflict
-am affected by how others feel, sensitive to their needs
-optimistic :)
-unmethodical :(
-like ppl, form strong ionic bonds with them (haha)
-will not boast about accomplishments
-believe others are honest (true, true)
--don't manipulate me ok?
-sincere, frank, no hidden agenda
-strongly affected by my feelings (yup. its more like a female thing though.)
-desire tranquility (look at sky/ceiling ftw)
-handle stress as a typical person does
-moved by music and intrigued by art (?)
-enthusiastic and exuberant :) when i'm in a group of people

its very accurate. i agree to all of it, except the assertiveness part, where i'm described as being average.
i think i'm highly UNassertive.

i think the PSC koped the GRAPH section.
usually there's a relative percentage section through which your traits are expressed on a scale.
its the MOST USEFUL!

and jess sleeps.

diversion

2009-08-21T23:53:00.002+08:00

ok la i very bad, always write no link posts. but i really love to expound theories on my blog.
this wouldn't be that

Today has been the most wonderful day so far in this week
(1) despite i came to school late cos
(2) the morning had v. cool weather and looking at the sky had some therapeutic effect on me (i seem autistic lol)
(3) my friends were being awesome as usual in class (uh, alfred, dominic, terence etc)
(4) jap food was awesome as usual
(5) PROOF - can you believe we watched a movie?
excellent story line and screenplay
(6) gym - haven't been to gym for 2 weeks, quite satisfying routine today.
(7) island creamery :) haha i went alone (needed some me-time) and got two megascoops of icecream. Maybe the server is new. mango + nutella. nutella's a little salty and creamy. mango is awesome.
(i seem to be using the word awesome a bit too much. time to think of synonyms.)
(8) work! My classroom was v quiet and conducive, UNTIL the juniors came in. (not irritating la, prob. rather boisterous.)
(9) friends - convos over the day makes life more interesting right.
also think waiting times for notoriously slow public transport.
(10) ajay's birthday - :) waited at his house for >1 hour till he returned home. kind of like a nice surprise (but spoiled cos info LEAKED out.)

[i can't imagine why my parents aren't interested in my personality report. what the freak. i was there trying to translate everything into chinese then they didn't care :(
my parents understand me far less now. they only have 2 goals:
1. to get me to sleep
2. to get me to study
its totally irritating.
as if results matter.
as if one STUPID exam (called atrocious levels, friends) matters.
]
[its probably a sign to relate better to other people around me.]

hey but then again its my funnest day today. quite fulfilling huh.

oh and a note here:
I will ONLY post the names of male friends, to avoid controversy.
Females will be referred to only if i absolutely have to.
(and then again i've got a huge no. of devices to ensure you can't figure.)
square/round brackets indicate thoughts that may not be relevant (ie. random).

OH a label of 'A' indicates a narrative of events that day,
if there's no label, its likely a theory/proof/random thoughts.

im going to redress my sleep deprivation, soon.

understandingzzz...

2009-08-18T16:45:00.003+08:00

Haha. understand what?
its hard to comprehend (understand a difficult thing) and
understand
(know and sympathise with how someone feels, and why they behave the way they do.)
guess thats why we need people around us.
I'm quite lucky alr.
i think 2 people really understand me?
[and i think at least 2 people are more difficult to understand than me.]
(you would be an expert to know who i'm talking about.)
(hint: out of the 4, there are 3 separate persons.
one can be found on the tagboard, one's my best friend, and one of the 3 is a guy.)
see. more specific now.

I have 1 ULTIMATE theory to explain why some people are just so hard to understand. (which includes me). Its cos they are sensitive people.
While its perfectly true that sensitive people relate better to their feelings (intrapersonal relation), they have a complex personality.
Its a fact la.
And a simple way to tell if someone is sensitive, by observation, is to observe whether the person displays a variety of moods and emotions, or whether he oscillates between introversion and extroversion. (ie. sometimes chatty, sometimes quiet).

its a fact also that sensitive people have a public persona and private character, therefore what you do NOT see may well be a major part of them.
As my friend said, "It's like I know you but I don't know you."
Yes its paradoxical.

(comment: I don't even think I understand myself.
In my case, i show about 70% of myself as my public persona.
Well for example, i do have bouts of introversion that no one knows about.)

and its this quest to find a deeper understanding of ourselves that propel us forward.
(comment: Sensitive people form 15%-20% of the population, and should make better friends. However they tend to prefer closer friendships, which may well make them hard to relate to.)--psychological term: individuation (applies to everyone, esp to sensitive people).

one big problem about sensitive people is that they easily get bogged down by the feelings of people around them, cos they read feelings so well [empathy]. Its good if you need comfort, but it affects the sensitive person too.

I see it as normal people have a personality, sensitive ones have a personality complex (ie. multiple personalities.)

which is where the complexity lies.

and there is 1 solution to this problem
(other than providing support--esp. between/among sensitive persons).
Yup the solution is God, who understands everyone without question.

ok as to why the above is so serious i also don't know. cos its factual.

joke: "Your eraser is dirty. What did you do to it?"
answer: I ____ it. (haha its too vulgar.)
awesome.

I just read that left-handers are more adept at math and music.
Yes to the latter, no to the former.

1 in 10 are left-handed (9%) in Asia.

musings

2009-08-15T21:41:00.000+08:00

Whats the point of titling every blog post?
i think i should just go 1,2,3... and see what number i reach.
HAHA.

im very glad with what happened this week.
distracting thoughts have faded, freeing up valuable space in my mind, for other random thoughts.

its all up to you now.
(what the freak am i writing...
sometimes i wonder why i write a blog if every reference is masked under innocuous terms.)
ah well.
being more specific, i have gotten over an episode.
(ok now thats more specific and understandable.)
and im glad about this.

had an enjoyable cell group today :)
God is always amazing.
:)

GOD :)

2009-08-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

I have a convention of not putting multiple smiley faces cos its uncharacteristic of me (think: :))) ).
yup.
im resorting to drawing smiley faces and writing random stuff on my lecture notes/history notes to stop me from feeling bored in lecture.
GRR!

hey wait thats not the point.
The point is GOD!
Haha we had a super awesome service today where Ps Kong shared about the power of praise and worship. and we had an extended worship session.
i sang until i teared. :)

well.
God is cool ok.
maybe its not time to stand up for singapore
but to stand up for God.

(k im summarising.)
Gerald is cool.

I think i must stop my insinuations about Isaac.
i will from NOW.

horrible!!!

2009-08-06T18:03:00.000+08:00

One of my friends is down with something.
hope you recover from your emotional turbulence soon.
no gp today.
what the.

FOP (or FLOP)

2009-08-02T00:26:00.002+08:00

Festival of Praise was quite disappointing.
the music wasn't music to my ears :(
dunno why.
bob fitts songs don't seem to have a central theme or rhythm that propels them forward.
and true worshippers songs were nice, but the praise songs were a bit loud (my perpetual complaint about praise songs IS that they are loud. so the comment can be ignored).
yup quite bad.
nonetheless, mark conner's preaching was awesome.

and my greatest takeaway:
"I pour [a gallon of] contempt over my pride".
it was going to go on facebook, which didn't like me and refused to load the homepage properly.
(the 'a gallon of' was added deliberately to align with Great Expectations, in which Pip wanted to "bestow a gallon of condescension over the village".
(what the, i'm amazed i remember this.)

isaac :( rugby.
ah well.
i've found the most NON-dangerous sport: Badminton!
haha you get hit by a shuttlecock and say 'ow'.
it does cause blisters though from gripping the racket.
but that occurs for ALL racket games.

church celebrates its 20th anniversary
guess what...i got church in 8 hours and 24 min.
SLEEEP.

a peek into my life

2009-07-25T21:31:00.000+08:00

its legitimate. :)

well its about how my temper and personality has nothing with whatever occurs at home.
i generally will be surprised if anyone notices me being angry.
yes i do get worked up, or passionate, but hardly ever angry.

the only times i can remember where i got angry was
(1) in sec 2, when i scolded my classmate who sat next to me for constantly demanding a seat change which drove me crazy
(on hindsight, I was not the best of people to be with, was arrogant, and therefore probably deserved it :( )
(2) when I called acer and waited for 30 min, and i said a very impolite word (that i would not use under any circumstances--but did) to no one in particular

i think my parents get into about 2 arguments a week.
i usually become totally unresponsive to avoid being provoked.

i am surprised that i can control my temper so well (its a relative thing though) under such circumstances.

ok, there you go.

The Peace Imperative

2009-07-24T22:41:00.006+08:00

Haha ignore this post if you hate theories.
this is a theory about how i function.
its not censored because...
it doesn't relate to anyone at all except me.
(i have an irrational fear that naming my friends here will cause, er, trouble.)

wasted another day again. what the. tmr i'll convert into a history specialist.

I function on the peace imperative, meaning I treat peace is the most important ideal in my life. Therefore everything I do is to realise calmness and inner peace in me, hence I tend to avoid conflicts under all circumstances. I have also realised that when it comes to relationships, well, they aren't that important after all...i think i've overestimated/idealised being attached in the past. think tv etc.
Now I'd rather be myself and a friend, to everyone.

The peace imperative that is ingrained in me has allowed me to actively maintain a relaxed and casual outlook on the world around me, and actually i don't really enjoy shakeups of any sort so, yup.
I guess what i'm getting at is that there IS a quiet side to me, contrary to my public persona.
as to whether anyone sees it, well, i really dunno.
(no one has ever said: jess, you seem really quiet today.--not in jc anyway).

and all i am tries to maintain equilibrium and peace with the world.
which means that i don't assert myself that much, i try to maintain friendships whenever i can, and i try to be humorous too cos it er, dispels stress and brings happiness.
(k la the irony here is that humour does not contribute to peace, but it probably causes satisfaction which then leads to peace.)

haha im amazed with my honesty. :)

confused

2009-07-22T21:40:00.003+08:00

i have been quite weird in school this week.
feeling abnormally quiet is just not me.
dunno why. (k its more of mon and tues morning only)

i've decided on my cardinal rule #1:
Be nice to everyone.

yup.
and im trying to get rid of my discomfort with some people.

MOE-slamming

2009-07-12T23:04:00.003+08:00

Well it seems that my passion of slamming MOE has died down of late.
i've just started to resume it.
The education system should be tailored to meet the individual's needs rather than passed down as a time-honoured, one-size-fits-all system.
I wonder if its intentional when MOE refuses to divulge statistics concerning the no. of stressed ppl seeking assistance and conduct surveys w.r.t. the well-being/mental and psychological of the students in particular.

Well, lets admit that the education system has its shortcomings.
that are unlikely to be resolved, if ever, in the future.

The meaning of friendship

2009-07-12T21:25:00.002+08:00

Was just pondering what friendship entails.
I've arrived at the following conclusion:
Well, friends are meant to help each other.
Maybe I didn't realise this until today. Um, or more bluntly, maybe i've been too self-centred in the conduct of my friendships with others.
Its not too late to change.

And selflessness can be fostered through church and taken out of church.
For Christians are meant to empower people, show compassion, and proclaim justice, setting a moral standard for society.
Tough job. But no one said religion was an easy thing anyway.

On a sidenote, I was VERY amused by what Isaac wore today.
It made me think of someone else. No clues for guessing who.

random

2009-07-10T22:05:00.002+08:00

it's kind of weird how sometimes different people click together. and conversely how some ppl just can't get along even after x years.
its also funny when ppl you've just met are friendlier than your other friends.
and the funniest thing is why everyone in church is so friendly no matter what.

such is life.

will post about results when i get back more stuff.
gp/math: phew!

well well

2009-07-08T16:25:00.002+08:00

k i wasted away my Fri-Wed holiday.
totally.
watching nazi movies, reading the nazi book of 1 movie, and doing totally random and pointless stuff.
my excuse: cos i was feeling unwell :|
now i need to rush out my h3. or die.

whatever.
i have decided to change my facebook name whenever i'm feeling stupid.
jess is just not specific enough.

and my piano got tuned today. the person commented I hammered my piano down 3 Hz, from 440 to 437 Hz.
its only supposed to be 2 Hz, under normal circumstances in her opinion.
THIS SHOWS I'VE BEEN PRACTISING!

SICK!

2009-07-03T23:44:00.002+08:00

I have been stricken by the post-exam bug.
its the 3 letter word no one wants to hear:
FLU.

math collapsed my immune system.
:x

i realise that the more you learn something, the more you find you don't know enough.
that's learning.
:)

historical hangup

2009-06-30T22:59:00.002+08:00

Some lyrics are meaningful. I'm not referring to the proliferation of love pronouncements in melodious form though.

"You and I are not that different
We got a void and we're just trying to fill it up
With something that'll give just a little peace
All we want is a hand to reach to
Open arms that say I love you"

with explains, simply, the cry of every heart.

(er, how this relates to history tmr is anyone's guess.)

ps.
(We'd give anything to hear the voice of the Saviour)
completes this excerpt of the song "Voice of a Saviour".
but this bit may not apply to everyone, so its appended here.

dreaming upon a moon. wishing upon a star

2009-06-26T22:42:00.005+08:00

Lets start off on the bright side.
You have a guardian angel you know.
"...one of these little ones. ... their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven." (Matthew 18:10)
Very cool. and reassuring.
in the interests of maintaining a hint of objectivity and avoiding being slammed by heretics/non-believers, i shall minimise bible-quoting except when its necessary.

i'm very amused with happenings on tuesday. when i (over)heard someone got sick and someone else was super caring and stuff.
lovesick= perhaps love is most well demonstrated when someone is sick.
And on the same note.
"The secret of a happy relationship is not finding the right person.
It is being the right person." -Anonymous (this didn't come out of my brain.)

the quote (momentarily) blew me away.

i'm amazed i'm still so positive even centimetres before school reopens.
(grrr...temperature taking is a chore.)

Quotes!

2009-06-20T00:37:00.003+08:00

Well i've encountered some great quotes and post them here!
k i'm actually very tired so the exclamation mark doesn't fit my mood.

Life
In life, there is no such thing as failure. There are successes and there are learning experiences.

Courage
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
(the last sentence is the 'wow' type of quote that gives instant inspiration.)

Forgiveness
Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of the immense benefits it offers to the one who forgives.

Quite cool.

deeper in love with you
deeper in love with you
I love you more than anything in life

some people should read songs of solomon. seriously.

Why must I specify a title?>?!

2009-06-13T20:31:00.002+08:00

Haha i'm being myself (ie. lame) as usual.
okto is the LOVE. when there's 2 hours of music concert (its the nobel prize concert now). count me in :)
but i havent been watching it, been listening though.
i really wish to be a better friend to everyone around me. (ok i dunno why this got in but still) yup and if my behaviour irritates people, then i really need to change.
ah well.

oh i MUST put this. The most lasting impression of Song of Solomon bible study on Friday:
Jesus turned water into wine. He didn't turn it into Ribena. (pst kong)
With such a great pastor, who ever says anything about not attending church??
actually its not wrong to not attend church, but i'll just feel uncomfortable. probably guilty.
Jess + u = Jesus :) hahaha
--> reason why i believe in God

plus the holy spirit directs your path.

ok enough about god stuff. my blog has to maintain an air of objectivity.

must chiong studies asap liao.

random post

2009-06-11T13:01:00.002+08:00

adam lambert confessed he is a gay already. awwww....felix

random thing:
i called sony customer service hotline, then:
"Good afternoon, this is Jesslyn speaking. How may I assist you?"

what the.
that's the 2nd jesslyn/lin this week.
the first was at the ns cmpb thingy.

RANDOM!!!

haha.

1+7=8 truths I will never tell you in person

2009-06-07T15:17:00.004+08:00

Since my 17th year just passed 8 days ago, here are 8 truths I will (probably) never admit to in person. so don't bother to acknowledge this post.
(1) My most life-changing decision is accepting Jesus :)
(2) I would seriously want to learn/master a sport, especially basketball, soccer, tennis, badminton or squash.
(3) I am highly sensitive as a person, most definitely to noise. This explains why you'll never find a metal track in my ipod.
(4) I would like a sibling.
(5) I have discovered that I am vulnerable to people that have similar names to me.
(6) You should be able to infer something from (5) and from reading other areas of my blog, and formulate a reasonable conclusion.
(7) I have realised that I have no time for a relationship, therefore i will not seek one.
(8) I want to spend my time in NS getting Grade 8 Theory certification.

Like I said, I will never admit to any of the above in person.
This post will stay online until i get too embarrassed by my honesty.
wonder if i'll do this next year.

summary post

2009-06-06T22:32:00.002+08:00

This is to summarise my first week of holidays.
(0) Monday. detailed in an earlier post.
(1) Tuesday
nothing happened/i forgot.
(2) Wednesday
Diligently and virtuously finished the probability/normal/poisson/binomial math qns.
Went to orchard and bought a chopin book (my 2nd 1st-polonaises, complete).
and collected my replaced ipod. :)
(3) Thursday
Went to CMPB for med assessment. Its quite horrendous and the process is a little slow. i wonder what they'd do for female screening, probably change ALL the medics/doctors???
Its a sticking (prickling) point that i got pricked 3 times on both arms, since the 1st medic (should i be so polite?) blasted 2 holes on my right arm and couldn't locate the vein.
A random encounter occurred in the hearing test station where the following exchange took place:
Female hearing tester: Hey your name is very funny
Me: Huh, why?
Tester: Well your name is exactly the same as the 1st 4 letters of my name
Me (misses a beat): What is your name?
Tester: Jesslin.
(i'm like, ERRRMMMM.)
on an objective POV, there are like extremely many females having variations of the root 'jess' in their names, and only like ME with my unique name, therefore such encounters may not be so random after all (consider probability...HAHA)
i considered this random cos how many females can you find in a male testing ns facility? see im justified.

Ended up getting pes D (for unconfirmed) pending a cardiology test at Alexandra Hospital (yay pon school on Monday!) and CMPB review.
lemme just say i don't necessarily want to get a non-combat post. im undecided.

the army guys are quite friendly. its good to talk to people you don't know for a change.

(4) Friday
An exceedingly boring SIRIUS camp day (cos the participants are pri school) and the only highlight was war games. Quite alright actually.
And consulting my v helpful math teacher about the 3 chapters done on Wed.
song of solomon bible study lesson 2. very insightful, as always.

(5) Saturday
IKEA, to buy a mat for my piano shifted into my room on Friday (YAAAYYYY!!!!) and a laundry bag to dump my music scores into.
got a 32" LCD TV delivered.
considering that i watch <1 hour of TV a week, its not a revolutionary achievement. the piano moving was more of revolutionary to me.
(the piano store actl wanted to charge 70 bucks for moving into my room, what the.)
cell group. very sobering message. what the.

yup. ok, let me go remember what happened on tuesday.

love confession

2009-06-01T22:08:00.001+08:00

~jess loves jesus~

a mishmash of posts

2009-06-01T18:41:00.003+08:00

Haha for all who didn't know my birthday was on saturday:)
didn't want to be dumb and go around advertising so yup.
birthday=swensen's. quite cool BUT the serving sizes have shrunk by about 25%.
what the.

K on sunday, i attended emerge (mini) and global day of prayer. super fun and cool.
(ya my brains dead now so im skimming over all the details).

psychometric test today. quite dumb tests actually.
they just require you to chiong through and hope for the best.
the personality questionnaire was fun to do (i love personality qs).
my most memorable question:
"It takes a lot to get me mad." Naturally i put strongly agree.
no one has been able to make me lose my cool other than parents' nagging.
haha. im cool :)

and i had a super random encounter today, which may well turn out to be the most random event of my whole holiday.

queensway=shoes!!!
:)
yay.

my first photo in x months.

i don't want to be 18.

2009-05-26T23:06:00.002+08:00

c'mon, i'm not going to smoke, very unlikely would drink, will avoid watching violent and pointless m18 movies...
whats the point of being 18???

HAHA. i'd rather be 17.99.

This test occupied much of my time today.
I really agree with:
"High-functioning FOURs are able to renew and regenerate themselves again and again, transforming even their most painful experiences into something beautiful and meaningful that others can benefit from as well. They have a deep sense of "allowing", and are able to hold even the most painful feelings with compassion and sensitivity--whether their own or someone else's."

Does anyone want to guess what my "most painful experiences" are???
:)
oh here are what the numbers mean:
ONE: Reformer
TWO: Helper
THREE: Achiever
FOUR: Individualist
FIVE: Investigator
SIX: Loyalist
SEVEN: Enthusiast
EIGHT: Challenger
NINE: Peacemaker

i've got a theory that most councillors are EIGHT.
google riso-hudson enneagram type indicator for more.
its super accurate.

Bball++!

2009-05-22T22:39:00.002+08:00

The first 2 (and probably last 2) basketball matches i've ever watched.
haha. i'm a sports noob.
enough said.
spectacular wins for boys and equally for girls.
nail-biting, but clearly hci was leading all the way.

"Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake"
desperately trying to master chopin's fantaisie-impromptu Op. 66.

recollections

2009-05-20T00:17:00.003+08:00

this is lifted off my June 07 post.
quite humorous...
"
Jess is a great name but commonly misconceptualised as a female NAME.
Grrr....
(i told felix that if my jc1 class enrolment has a jessica in the class list.
I WILL SWITCH CLASSES...i dun care man. whether gd./bad. subject combi oso never mind..)
"

erm. i wonder whether i'll do that in university. HAHA
most likely not, cos i haven't met a nasty jess before.
i would like to think that jesses are nice.

updating

2009-05-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

Edited stuff on the sidebar.
Hey someone in school should REALLY surprise me by calling me Jiahao sometime.
I am SERIOUSLY srsly sick of constantly hearing my christian name. Not that it isn't a nice name.
A problem with jess is that you often hear people pronouncing things like "just" or "yes" and stuff like that and turn to see no one calling you. Can get irritating.
This blog has survived my non-Christian days. Its long, huh.
i should have posts slamming random organisations sometime. The first would probably be MOE, then MINDEF, then everything in between.
Don't slam MHA or ISD else you will die.
avril lavigne's lyrics are very violent.

my final point: I don't like Proof cos of the arbitrary, unjustified use of f words.
:)

release

2009-05-13T22:43:00.003+08:00

Censored an earlier post (this is the 2nd time.)

all i have to say is:
1) someone has apologised to me too many times. which may well have the opposite effect, since this person is not at fault anyway.
2) i have grown up from this experience.
3) actually it was kind of a nice journey.

We always expect things to work out the way we want them to, but this is not heaven.
Being satisfied with whatever we have is good enough.

ah well. a super direct post has become filled with philosophical nonsense again.
typical me.

moving on,

insinuations

2009-05-10T16:36:00.003+08:00

Insinuations about Isaac are generally untrue.
okay isaac? i'm just not that into you.
Let me clarify the krystle sms.
I said: "Isaac's quite buff what. Maybe that's cos he wears overly tight shirts".
I DID NOT say any other stuff.

did something stupid about the secondary reason thing.
HAHA i just made it up on the spot.
and they only sang 1 worship song in church. :(
i want 2. :) (petulant)

i didn't know what was coming into me when i told the subway server (or "sandwich artist") "avoid the olives". proceeding which, olives were added.
must not use archaic english next time.

i must qualify the process of me blogging.
I exercise strict control over what goes on my blog, and therefore, many thoughts that i have are either
(a) censored,
(b) banned,
(c) regarded as irrelevant,
(d) regarded as controversial,
(e) regarded as embarrassing,
(f) regarded as inadmissable.

I have been exercising an incredibly high degree of censorship for all posts since 2009.

therefore, i'm (maybe not so) sorry to say, what thoughts actually go on here are the tip of the iceberg.

Scrambling

2009-05-09T13:42:00.002+08:00

Ever had times whereby lyrics just run through your head, and you are almost awake?
and the lyrics are so beautiful, you reach for a pen, then finally your conscious kicks in, and you physically wake up and grab a pen to write?

well, this unconscious lyrics thingy has happened to me like twice and today its happened again. :)
i managed to rmb nicely 1 line (about 6 lines went thru my brain b4 i awoke) and wrote a nice song.

will make it into a full composition.
i'm really amused at the content of the song.

Ranting

2009-05-05T17:14:00.002+08:00

Jess wants to be free from his thoughts.
and feelings. that would be awesome.
yup.

Brainbusters

2009-05-04T21:06:00.002+08:00

Realised today that there is a primary important difference in how a male and female function with regards to love.
I simply must post this cos its so...relevant. (i shall not go into the relevance bit, read between the lines...literally)

The male uses the brain stem to process feelings of affection. Its the part that controls eating, sleeping, and basic daily activities. This explains why males are more prone to committing offences of an er. intimate nature.
k on to females. Females use the limbic system, not in the picture but just around the centre of the brain. This area regulates emotions and feelings.

The conclusion: Males are fickle, by nature. Its that simple.
A reason why females>males.
ps. Solution: Rid yourself of testosterone, and become a walking zombie. Right, there is no way to get out of this wiring of the brain.

Finally photos.

2009-05-01T22:02:00.004+08:00

I have officially decided to give up my glorious no-photo blog and replace it with a photoed one. next up, having classical soundtracks on my blog featuring my friend...
the piano!!! haha who did you think my friend was.
it is my firm belief that the average person does not listen to enough classical music, hence my humble efforts to redress the imbalance.

ok thats for tmr.

Just wikied my name:
Jess may refer to:

* Jess programming language
* Jess Mariano, a character in the Gilmore Girls universe
* Jess Collins (1923 - 2004), American visual artist
* Eoin Jess (born 1970), Scottish footballer
* Marilyn Jess (born 1959), French porn actress
* Jess, an 1887 novel by Henry Rider Haggard
* Jess the cat, a character in the Postman Pat universe
* Jess, the alias of Jean Sebastien Gerard (born 1970), French Atari ST composer
didn't know i was a programming language. and a porn actress.
at least Eoin Jess is a guy.
Jess is listed as a variation of Jessica.

my name is screwed in a nice way :)

boredom must be enveloping me, wikipediaing such things.

oh did I mention the actors/singers i like?
Jessica Simpson is super awesome.
HAHA. but really.
jessica alba is too flirty, for want of a better word.
Jesse McCartney. never heard of him until today.
reserve my comments for later.

Bronze:(

2009-04-28T20:02:00.004+08:00

SYF Results Announcer: "Hwa Chong Institution. (suspense.) Bronze."
The whole guitar ensemble sits stunned for something like 2 minutes. I feel a strange sense of calmness, then it all comes crashing down.
Its not that we played badly. On the other hand, I thought we played at 95% of our best standard. Which is super good. Neither was it due to institutional factors (ie. unforeseen circumstances), but due to the fault of the judges (and to think they call them adjudicators.)

1. Professional incompetency.
Only 1 of the 5 judges was a guitar player. They gave random comments like "You must not exaggerate dynamic contrasts" and "The bass notes were not as clear as those on the higher register". My favourite: "Many groups used tremolo. You shouldn't." (Hello, that's what the guitar is made for?)
And to make matters worse, they demanded a "narrow focused sound [executed] within 1-2 milliseconds". Ms Wong says this is unachievable unless $10k guitars are used.

2. Poor acoustics.
The Republic Cultural Centre is a fantastic hall. No question about that. However, our wonderful judges chose to sit at the 2nd level. And the hall couldn't transmit lower-range notes to the 2nd level, since its more suited for vocals. Well most likely they heard a blur of bass notes (which comprise 40% of our ensemble) and didn't bother to think whether it was their problem. Oh, did I mention that the 2nd level was locked and out of bounds to everyone? Where did the transparency of judgement go to?

3. Lack of accountability.
The judges do NOT have to account for the results they give. We bore absolute faith with the SYF judging system, however we were sorely disappointed. No comments were given whatsoever, and appeals are apparently unheard of. Revealing actual scores? Not a chance.

4. Technical ineptitude.
K just before I get comments about how this is biased, I shall admit that we were technically and musically less adept than other schools, which were excellent. Cos we only practised for 4 months. (Oh, our previous conductor was rather, er, incapable.) But then of course everyone was screwed cos of factors 1 and 2.
VJC got silver, and all the groups after us got either silver/bronze. (except 1 gold the Chinese Orchestra song). And ACSI (JC) also got silver.
Sounds funny? In total, there were 16 JCs. There was 1 GwH, 2 Golds, 6 Silvers, and 7 Bronzes. around there.
disproportionate? You bet.

What can I say? We may have failed our expectations, but the judges failed us.
Just my humble opinion.

good luck to the other SYF groups.

update: the post is now on the hcguitar blog, which is where it was originally intended to be. you can comment on this, just try to balance your opinion larz.
oh and i must qualify we are far from fantastic (alliteration :), but played at the best our competencies and levels of practice could allow.

YAY PIANO!

-beautiful, but you don't even try. (jonas brothers--lovebug)
And we were all left speechless, momentarily, of course.

Oops

2009-04-27T12:00:00.003+08:00

Its v. bad to rely on msn and sms and all these abbreviations for communication.
If i've sent smses that were random and irritated people before, I'm sorry.
Haha.

i feel really tired.
and its maths.

Let the music...end?

2009-04-26T21:51:00.002+08:00

This is an emo post.
*insert angsty word* *insert 5/6 letter hokkien word beginning with "wa"* i have to stop, cease, suspend, cancel all piano lessons for the next 7 months. crap la. after learning piano for 9 years and 9 months, i won't be able to hit 10 years. all because of my parents la.
To hell with the A levels. --yes you can quote me on that.
Screws everything up.

Oh on a happier note went to marina barrage, LTA, some random bird's nest shop today.
some rc tour thing.
super fun. and the lunch was awesome.
marina barrage is ULTRA cool.
and i won't mind going to the rooftop and lying on the grass and looking at the stars at night (of course not in the day la. so hot).
LTA's gallery is SUPER interactive and creative, too bad must book as a group for guided tour.
it looks totally like a residential cluster of terrace houses from outside.
too lazy to upload pictures. i should. after syf.

2 more days.
:)

Clarifications

2009-04-24T20:06:00.002+08:00

Ok I must clarify:
1. I will only be 1 year away from my hospitalisation tomorrow.
2. My voice range has dropped from high G/A to high C/D currently. over 1.5 years.
3. I am a guy.
(I won't be surprised to see something like:
Jess is... She...
it happened to me in June 08's GP bulletin.
this won't be the first time)

my laptop is away for repair. the touchpad is spoilt and i was lazy enough to use the mouse for what...8 months? before i decided today was a wonderfully free day (haha no H3 econs) and travelled to acer.

yup i've run out of things to say.

3rd person

2009-04-23T18:37:00.004+08:00

reached home at 1pm today :)
just watched ip man. Didn't like it cos there's NO MUSIC.
and music is the soul of a movie man.
im writing in the 3rd person now.
jess wants to see a wolphin. jess wants to see a dolphin.
note: wolphin: a cross between a (false) whale and dolphin.

k that reminds me of sentence synthesis. the funnest section of the psle english.
i must post photos of my 6 skin medications soon.
this is also (i think) 1 year after i ended up in Ward 14 of Mount Elizabeth Hospital.
its called the Mount Elizabeth Charter.
it specialises in...well, ask me la.
a bit funny to post hospital stuff here.

one of my favourite worship songs. Be warned that you may be moved to tears.
Viewer discretion is advised. :)

A quickie

2009-04-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

My definition of quickie: A short activity one gets over with in moments

I've been very in love with the following songs. my ipod is super cool. cos i seriously regulate the songs in it (well, ignoring songs from santana, 3 doors down etc which are too loud and painful).

A New Day Has Come

Have you ever been in love

off to sleep.

Complex Numbers

2009-04-20T14:02:00.003+08:00

can 8 numbers be so complex, as tutorials 15 A to C?
yes they can, if they came in a form of contact.

off to salt centre now.

Just jessing around

2009-04-17T16:34:00.003+08:00

ok i must admit i wrote another post. but i really cannot publish it. therefore :)

I just wrote "Jess" on my history test. Its my first time. like the first time I wrote "Jess Song" for my econs block test 1 not too long ago.
usually i like/use my chinese name.
guess i got tired of angmoh teachers calling me jess all the time.
there are other reasons. like my friends call me that way.
im still jiahao in church, so there's balance.

im still very happy that i got silver for napfa.
the last time i did was in primary 3.
this may surprise some people i guess.

oh and i discovered gilmore girls.
i shall try to cut down on blog censorship next time.

Halleluia

2009-04-10T15:04:00.002+08:00

I seriously dunno why the alternative spelling is hallelujah since no one ever pronounces it like that.
this must be a holy post cos its good friday. Therefore, no bad words (not that i ever use them but...:)
to be truthful, today is like any other day. even though jesus died (sidetrack>: jess is the closest name one can get to jesus, its a u short of jesus, the primary reason why i love my name, and the reason why no one should ever abbreviate a name to jess, cos its so special HAHA.) (ok the sidetrack is v. long) today, its raining and there's nothing holy about the atmosphere at all.
ah well.
hope easter sunday is brighter.

on another note, i am ecstatic after 4 years of effort paid off. I finally! got my diploma in piano YAY!!!:):):)
(cries in exaltation)
might take a photo of it later and post it.
i get to put ATCL after my name. wonder what purpose it serves though.

:)
very happeee.

One in a million

2009-04-05T21:57:00.002+08:00

The chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one.
You're one in a million.--Hannah Montana (one in a million)
but everyone says that.

Double Post

2009-04-05T00:33:00.003+08:00

Ok I should talk about 2 things now.
(1) The Hommage to Poulenc concert on friday
which was awesome. and its the most varied concert i've seen so far, with
(a) standard piano playing (3 novelettes, maybe a novelette=a small novel?)
(b) piano+clarinet. hey the 1st time i seen a clarinet performance!
(c) piano+soprano. ok my keyboard went bonkers for 15 seconds.
grrr...oh and the soprano person looked gorgeous and she's AS TALL AS THE PIANO GUY (whose the head of piano studies). and she's an assistant professor too! (haha overdramatic liaoz.)
(d) piano+18 instruments.
that's very cool actually. wait, i think an orchestra has 40. not sure.

(2) Saturday
uh ok. erm piano at 9am. which sadly is my last piano lesson from 9-10 and my 4th last until a levels. im desperately trying to convince my father to let me continue, probably go on a hunger strike haha.
then cell at 2, fooled around with isaac and ajay as usual (maybe call them i&a, sounds cool right.)
ok and all cell stuff is censored out. we have 3 persons sharing testimony.
yup

then i watched twilight. got to admit that
(1) edward cullen is super cute
(2) bella swan is equally so
but im confused as to why edward's lipstick is so red.
ah well

oh i was glad that 'jess' was only mentioned once throughout the movie.
very very good. if not i would er. go crazy.

she didn't look too bad either.

ok poulenc poulenc damn cool (sounds like poultry but still).

the 3 in 1

2009-03-30T21:40:00.003+08:00

Ok this is random but that's what i am.
I have just discovered that i have 3 names and 1 surname, which i should use interchangeably for different occasions:
1. jiahao-the male side of me
2. jess-the female side of me, considering that urbandictionary.com has 10 female definitions of me
3. jazz-the musical side of me
4. song-the musical side of me, more specifically, when i'm in a mood to sing

just learnt that a male pitch is from bass g to treble f.
haha i can hit like higher than that.
i really WANT to join choir. the church one.
guess that'll have to wait till a's are over.

oh and i got a b for math. which is just great for me (er. not being sarcastic.)
made some appalling mistakes in the paper nonetheless.

hair gel.

The other side of me

2009-03-28T21:50:00.003+08:00

Ok well sometimes i really wonder what the 'other side of me' will be.
it will probably be someone who
(1) styles his hair every day
(2) sends a gazillion smses
(3) jams on the guitar
(4) swears copiously
(5) wastes time (er, not on facebook or msn, but going out/playing, the types that REALLY waste time)
(6) is not afraid of expressing his feelings
(7) is NOT a christian (thank god i am).

haha. lets see, i won't mind (3), (5) and (6) but the rest will be -gg-.
just had a haircut. ok, im blogging about a HAIRCUT. seriously my hair looks nicer now.
ah but whatever the case i don't look nice at all larz. so it doesn't matter.

attended men's meeting ystd. quite nice, but phil pringle acted like a demagogue.
yup.
somehow i don't like thinking of myself as a man.
i subscribe to the army ideology "from boys to men". so im not officially a man yet.
haha.

:)
feel like posting a song but have none in my head now.

First Post-Test Post

2009-03-26T23:49:00.002+08:00

yay i used two posts in my title.
These little things get me excited you know. Alliteration, rhymes, repetitions etc.
Maybe i'm a true blue lit student (ignoring the fact that i can't compare poems).
Maybe i just love english.
which is super true cos...
YAY!!! I aced GP.
(er. to qualify this, its only the compre part.)
since no one reads this, I shall just show off. a little.
k lar, the mark is good enough to, er, kill a bird.
you know i've sworn off arrogance since, like 2 years ago...

ok. on a separate note, i no longer feel plagued by hormonal surges.
its good la.
although i still like (censored) ...to eat pizzas.

oh, it should be obvious that i exercise active self-censorship because
(1) i don't want to get tried for sedition
(2) i must protect my self-image
(3) some truths are jian4 bu4 de2 ren2 (but actually, the more you hide, the more people don't know.)
(4) i can't lie, or try very hard not to.

k its 12. good night world.

morning post

2009-03-18T11:16:00.002+08:00

was just looking at the admission requirements (ie. auditions) for Yong Siew Toh music degree programme and was stunned at this:

Is memorization important? What if I do not have my whole audition program memorized by the time of the audition?

Memorization of your entire audition programme is not only important, it is a requirement. If your program is not fully memorized, you will be immediately disqualified. It would be better for you to wait another year to audition should this be the case. Please do not ask to perform from scores at your audition, as no such requests will be granted.

GG. memorise 5 pieces (the requirement), including 1 full-length sonata???
what the...

on another note, i need to take a breather from the crushing thingy.

just clearing a little space in the corner of my mind.

2009-03-13T23:25:00.002+08:00

k a hurried one.
spent time msning to leon (the cute guy with the baby face that'll make all girls swoon) and running 2.4, setting a personal record, but i shan't be vain.
just played 2 hours of piano and i feel very virtuous after this.
:)_

a 2 minute post

2009-03-12T23:00:00.002+08:00

ok i've got 120 seconds.
read through my june 2007 archive and decided it was super corny, immature, weird and random. please do not read my archives. oh, but no one reads my blog ever, so its perfectly fine.
taylor swift: "...its perfectly fine"
k im addicted to her already, long ago.
damn what the bio ppl get tmr off what the ggxx, but they have to take bio+chem tgt so its not exactly that great.
pst kong replied to my message yay.
didn't know he was so personal. uh well sceptics will say its "his secretary" again.
Wonder how many secretaries he has.
k 2 minutes up:)

Chilling out b4 blocks post

2009-03-10T22:22:00.002+08:00

Big blokes bug bor blocks (mug for blocks).
i aim to refer to the bible for my gp essay tmr.
my last gp aim was to write my conclusion in chinese, which never happened.

lets see how the bible works out.
To think I actually created 8 gp questions.
My favourite: "Violence is never justified." Comment.
It'll be super cool if this really came out.

:)

psychology

2009-03-10T01:23:00.002+08:00

I really wish to think about the "what-ifs" rather than the "what-if-nots".
I really wish I can erase the part of my brain that constantly thinks about some....lalala, even if it means erasing my limbic system. Maybe i need electroshock therapy.
I really wish that I can feel God's presence, and meet Him. (ok i've done the former).

10 facts

2009-03-10T01:00:00.003+08:00

Ok ten random facts about me, and, i'm resolving to not use com tmr, ie. from now onwards.
1. I have an extreme aversion towards the f word, which was forged well before i became christian. I seriously can't rmb ever using it at all.
2. If 100 guys stand in a row (nah its not p&c) i think i'll be as attractive as 20 of them or less.
3. If I had a choice, i'd attend a piano school than slog in HCI.
4. If I were female, i'd choose jessabel as my christian name.
5. My greatest unfulfillable ambition is to have a grand piano.
6. Somehow I think life ends at 18, after a levels. I can't imagine anything beyond that.
7. This is a very rare night where my mother didn't come out to ask me to sleep.
8. I am a non-science person, which should be obvious. But i do like psychology, which undermines my assertion. (oops sorry for the language)
9. I am (next to) hopeless at sports.
10.I currently have a --u-- which i really don't want to deal with.

bet you can't solve the last one.
i wanted to give the first letter, but the human mind works better with beginnings than middles or endings. haha

SLEEP:)

Hamlet! Toilet!

2009-03-09T23:02:00.002+08:00

I feel like going to the toilet when i read hamlet.
haha.
i feel :( when tmr is lesson-free. I must...use my own discretion. AHHH. thats wise
i'm preparing for the home-run, in 2 completely different ways.
The first is obvious, ahhh block tests.
The second. well, lets just say, is a not-so-pressing matter that i wish to settle.

we all go through challenges that build us up. Being at crossroads, i must make a decision. Regardless of the consequences, I believe the experience will be for the better.

Heaven

2009-03-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

I NEED YOUR LOVE
LIKE THE DESERT NEEDS THE RAIN
I NEED YOUR TOUCH
LIKE THE FIRE NEEDS THE FLAME

ONE MOMENT WITHOUT YOU NEAR
IS HEARTACHE I CANNOT BEAR
A LIFETIME WITH YOU O LORD
IS HEAVEN I LONG TO KNOW
HEAVEN

Tang quartet aka NUS concert

2009-03-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

Ok let me qualify this by saying i haven't been in a concert for 3 years or more.
Today's T'ang quartet concert, held in Yong Siew Toh Conservatory was super awesome.
Despite 2 of the 3 pieces being, erm, short of distasteful, weird.
cos they were shostakovich and modern music.
The acoustics of the Concert Hall was EXTREME and the performers played brilliantly.
In short, an enchanting experience.
And its free too.
Visit music.nus.edu.sg if you want to be part of the fun (assuming you love classical music).
And I could die and vegetate in the Music Library.
Super pro, rows and rows of musical scores, music magazines, music research books, you name it, they have it.
What the... totally friggin awesome.
ah well.
off to sleep.
:)

Dramafeste

2009-03-05T23:35:00.004+08:00

Actually until now i still dunno why dramafeste has an e. I mean dramafest already sounds correct, and looks so. ah well.
"Silently the senses abandon their defences". Well i do think you abandon your senses and logic here because the plays were rather unimaginative and uniform i think. Its not that they're terrible, its just they are the run-of-the-mill type.
every faculty stands an equal chance though. can't really say who's the best.

The harmony when all the singers sing is wonderful.
However they're singing it too much like a classical piece.
No passion whatsoever, minimal dynamic changes, yet its a beautiful piece.
Josh Groban does it justice

Notice the grandeur of his singing. HOWEVER, its NOT the complete song.

i can't help thinking about ...
slowly though i've been able to control my thoughts.

"You alone can make my song take flight -
help me make the music of the night".
A very apt way to end this muse of mine.

Nah

2009-03-04T22:22:00.001+08:00

Its hard to summarise in one line, but today's scholarship talks were more than inspiring.

1st 1-sentence post

2009-03-01T21:25:00.002+08:00

Will use 1 sentence posts from now as it saves time, unless i feel the need to do otherwise.

this sounds wrong, but i do think my pastor looks super macho.

A Bible Passage

2009-02-28T22:29:00.000+08:00

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
and always perseveres.
1 Cor. 13:4-7

off to do history

Musings on the Moon

2009-02-28T00:08:00.004+08:00

Ok I'm reading Dreams by Jung. Seems a very weird book to read, but im a random person so that explains it. Since NO ONE ever reads this blog, i'm going to continue where i left off yesterday.
Its quite obvious that I like x. I mean, if you let x be a variable and form equations kind of thing. If I had a choice, I would choose to remain emotionless, then I won't have weird feelings of this nature, which only serve to confuse and disrupt my simple life.

nothing has happened so far. I predict nothing's going to happen. I'm purposely censoring all the details cos pesky people shouldn't pry at all. If you really chance upon this dead blog, well, just ask me lar. (assuming u know who i am) I'm far more likely to respond, since
(1) i do not lie
(2) i'm far more open in person.

i predict if i wasn't grounded in my faith and didn't know how to play music, I would be dead by now. There's a particular quality about thoughts, ie. their nature to multiply and evolve over time. If these untimely thoughts flood your mind, well you are screwed up lorz.
i just deleted 105 songs on my ipod. I can't stand Santana.

the pangs have lasted more than a month now. not enough to disrupt my daily routine, but i definitely need to exercise more self-discipline with my thoughts.

Haha I love this post cos its v. reflective, and discloses essentially nothing. therefore you shouldn't read my blog at all, which thereby allows me unlimited freedom in penning my thoughts.

i love my life man.

"Hear me calling your name
Listen to my cry
Hide my darkest/deepest desire
Rescue my soul
Take me o'er today"
(ok the 1st and 5th lines are from hillsong, the middle 3 are my own)
I do trust in God to guide me through this:)

thoughtful.
"Every dream represents the fulfilment of a repressed wish"

Just a post

2009-02-26T00:23:00.005+08:00

Haha I don't think anyone reads my blog, which is good cos I GET TO WRITE ANYTHING I WANT.
took 2 random tests today.
one's the personality disorder test.
i did quite well la.
Histronic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
dunno why i'm judged as narcissistic lar.

a more interesting one would be the following:

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Spirituality - 92.3% 2. Financial Situation - 76.9% 3. Open-Mindedness - 72.7% 4. Flirtiness - 62.5% 5. Adventurousness - 58.3%	1. Appearance - 66.7%

Dating Strengths Explained
Spirituality - Your spiritual side brings you peace and balance, and keeps you grounded. This is attractive, as you can help reinforce this quality in other people. Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid girls who are only interested in your money. Open-Mindedness - You are open to trying new things and entertaining new ideas, and this widens your pool of available girls. Flirtiness - Flirting is a good way to break the ice, and you are a pro at it. Being flirtatious will open up many dating opportunities. Adventurousness - You are willing to try new things and be spontaneous. You want to get out there and really live, and you will attract people with a similar love of life.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Appearance - Devoting a greater effort at making good first impressions is a must. Try to be fit and develop a style if you want to catch a girl's attention.
Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz

recently, i've been really happy. Probably its due to my spirituality, and how i've come to accept things.
ok i really want to sleep now.
have been really caught up with feelings. Its very highly unlikely that anyone knows cos i don't like to disclose my feelings. as in, i love talking about everything except private stuff.
you'll notice my ambiguity. just guess.
we'll see how it goes.

ok im officially dead.
:)

2009-02-20T22:28:00.001+08:00

ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

A Desperate Revival

2009-02-18T23:16:00.002+08:00

k i dunno why im blogging but feel that 7 months is too long a hiatus to address.
In that time, I have:
(1) Completed J1
(2) Completed my piano exam
(3) Attended countless cgs, services and etc
(4) Made new friends
(5) Moved on in piano
(6) etc etc etc.

Yup and i shall stop here.
haha

Random Musings

2008-07-03T23:54:00.002+08:00

I come to realise how large the world is when i realise how small I am, and how smaller my blog must be in the Internet world. And knowing that empowers me to appreciate that sometimes, we do need ppl ard to cheer us up, which translates into how impt friends are.
(haha ppl. I'm doing GP AGAIN, not my fault haha;)
And people whom you treasure usually are your friends, unless you're a two(ormore)-faced creature, which doesn't exist in most instances. Therefore, I've really come to realise that its your friends who stand by you in times of crisis, and who never fail to allow you the space to pick yourself up and to support you, as you were, all the way again. And thus my heart really belongs to W445 (to the uninformed, my cell grp/church) which is really, one body, and 2* people/. (sorry I can't keep count, its 20-something and moving on).
what with isaac's fail-to-be-funny-still-makes-you-laugh type and ajay's suan-you-and-make-you-laugh personality, leon's notice-weird-things-that-makes-you-laugh-in-agreement and krystle's it's-superiorly-funny, especially-since-I'm-prettier-than-chloe type HAHA! to name a few.
(PS. Krystle, good luck slogging at goldman sachs. It's worth your effort:)
And so I do realise, that, hey comparatively, I'm weaker in school in friendship building, yet even then Jun Xin, Peter, HP cell grp and some others I've failed to name remain there, just a call away.

And so I'm really blessed, which is good. haha. (for the general ppl, I do suggest Christ being your friend, and He is actually, so try treating the religion thing like a relationship ya, with an imaginary but existing friend? hey it works:)

ok. that's the end of that one. I'd really like to debate the question (or motion, haha) "Is the law a weapon exclusively for the rich?" but I'll probably keep it to a nice short GP essay, for practice, amidst other more impt things like piano and guitar waiting away:)

haha/. life is just so fun:)
jiahao.

Friends, Friends, Friends

2008-05-25T23:09:00.004+08:00

Friends are there. They care
Responding to your needs, counselling you; through
Interesting conversations; delightful remarks; tongue-in-cheek jokes, BUT
Expectations fail you. You ignore them willfully;
Never communicating, just talking to yourself; playing a mind's game, never listening.
Depend on your friends, not your parents, and
Send them blessings and favours to wash your heart clean.

Follow your heart they saY;
Respond to your heart first; lest you
Entangle yourself in a snare; trapping your mind
Never escaping, just evading;
Superseding your heart with your thoughts.

For follow your heart;
They lead the way with you, run the race with you;
Competing with them only limits your potential.

For in your mind springs forth ambition,
Ambition lends emptiness, leading to pride, eroding yourself;
And thereby you collapse
Catch yourself by;
Spending endless time in the hospitel;
an ironic truth, due to mere evasion of truth.

For out of the blue;
A voice speaks to you;
Evading crisis, you fall into His arms
And as you cry out to Him
Response listens, and ministers through your pals to you.

And he shows you a more excellent way
Exceeding Expectation, Tearing down walls of silence and distrust;
so that you can love again. Can you not resist him?

You can; continue in your own ways; but
You limit your potential, stretch your mind at the expense of your soul;
A poor trade indeed.
Earnestly desire the voice of companionship;
and confidantes;
Who teach you to
Pick yourself up and go;
Search for the LIGHT in darkness;
and unlock your destiny.

Written in remembrance of
a painful, stressful episode,
That taught me
TRUST in your friends and CONFIDE in them.

Jess

Friend List!!!

2008-03-12T01:41:00.003+08:00

This friend list supersedes the last one.
Note that order does not matter. people of the same status are of equal standing.
and this time all friends are mixed together, church friends don't get separate ranks.

PLATINUM

Platinum.star friendships describe confidantes I've made.

Adeline

Gerald

Peter

Jun Xin

Felix

Krystle

Eric

Shu Ren

Anlynn

Alfred

DaoYuan

Matthew

Leon

Isaac

and W445!

Platinum for Teachers:
Mr Charles Low
My current teachers

Platinum Awards:

Go to friends i've made.

Qi Han
Alfred (again)
Dominic
Angel
Pauline
Valerie
Chloe
Rachel
and N309

Gold Awards:
Special recognition to A14/A15--Choo Jun!!!

Silver Awards:
Everyone else I've befriended in the past.

Bronze Awards:
Everyone else left!

Fillers

2008-03-12T00:50:00.002+08:00

Ok i'm just posting at an unearthly hour to fill up what happened between fri and today.

SATURDAY
Saturday was an eventful day! Went to piano, completed chi compo (yus i do take h1 cl for the uninformed :) ), went for cell (not batteries, as in cell group...) and then went for huang cheng.
Nothing unusual happened during cell so it will be glossed over.

Huang Cheng turned out to be quite a disappointment for me. I know the people involved worked really hard, and applaud them for it, especially the backstage staff, ie. the props, lighting, sounds teams etc. But the acts were rather run-of-the-mill, or to put it more bluntly, cliched.
The props team deserves extra commendation for the fact that they worked 4-11pm from Mon to Fri throughout and the whole Saturday as well for the past weeks. Good work people!

ACT ONE
The first act is a typical Channel8 soap opera, sob story. Detailing how a debt-ridden father resorted to suicide and the struggle ensuing between the mother and the handicapped child paralysed from waist down, the whole play was exceedingly gloomy. i wouldn't say arrestingly gloomy, much as i would love to, since the plot was rather mundane. A question that lacks answers would be what put the family to such a despondent state in the first place. Music was normal.

Nevertheless, the actors were awesome at controlling their mood and acting their hearts out. In this aspect they deserve applause, rather than simply criticism over a storyline they had no control of.

Plot: 5.5/10
Acting: 8.5/10
Music/Sound: 3/5
Props/Lighting: 4.5/5

ACT TWO
Much better in terms of plot, yet the horror element did not manifest well enough, morphing into a morality play that explores the selfish desires of man that led to the death of a close companion of the characters. Highly original storyline, i would say, captures audience attention, but somehow it just lacks the X factor due in part to the sheer length of character dialogue that stretched the whole play and made some parts of talking rather boring.
Again, great acting, excellent props and lighting control. (The curved staircase on the right is ultra cool!)

Plot: 7/10
Acting: 8/10
Music/Sound: 3.5/5
Props/Lighting: 4.5/5

ACT THREE
Finally a relief, a comedy!!! After all that leaden stuff, the light-hearted nature of this play obviously scored well in the hearts of the audience, amidst hearty laughter. A significant embarrassment and hilarious moment occurred when the toymaker addressed X as "Was X good to you?" or sth like that when he meant the master of X. The love with robot plot thing is kinda funny and unrealistic but adds to the fun of the whole play.
Excellent props. Acting was relatively a little less impressive.

Plot: 7.5/10
Acting: 7.5/10
Music/Sound: 3.5/5
Props/Lighting: 4.5/5

Overall i would say the plots of the plays spoilt the whole thing. Everything else was nothing short of perfect, so it is quite a pity lar really. But i enjoyed myself lar.

SUNDAY
Sunday was again really eventful, with a supercharged church service (most are), followed by a sentosa event. The most memorable thing that arose out of my being stationmaster and stoning at the southernmost point of the asian continent away from all civilisation connected by the hanging bridge was:
The wonderful sound effects of 3 girls swimming across the 25 m length of the sea.
They were doing a "swim and scream" sequence, causing me to laugh hysterically and everyone else who saw did too. (The girls are: A* Ly**, C*l*e and their friend. names partially concealed to protect identity). Really funny.

Then we had dinner, played a random no link game going like:
A: Do you like playing the piano?
B: The sky is beautiful today.
Super hilarious but addictive so we shouldn't play too often, lest we answer teachers in the same no-link way as well.

MONDAY
Rather boring and lacklustre compared to Saturday and Sunday. Woke up, did math, went for guitar lesson, did math again and watched juno on my com.
Guitar lesson was uber boring.
Juno is real cool, probably rated nc16 due to the mature theme of teenage pregnancy lar. cos everything else was nice and clean ;)
The plot was original and enjoyable, the acting was awesome and the leads look good too! ;)
Basically its about how an accidental teenage pregnancy resulted in the decision to give the baby to a successful upper class couple, how the couple had underlying severities in their marriage and the wonderful resolution at the end although their divorce was unavoidable.
Shan't spoil further.
OH I MUST MENTION THE MUSIC RAWKS. watching it for the music is worth it too.
the landscape is uber nice, especially the winter landscape, made me think of japan and korea. ;)
jazzRatings:
Plot: 8/10
Acting: 8/10
Music: 9.5/10
Humour: 7.5/10
Landscape: 4.5/5
Cinematography: 3.5/5
TOTAL: 41, highly recommended
(you can see my ratings tend to incline towards the high side...yup yup.)

TUESDAY
A really mundane and frustrating day, due to the fact that i spent
4 HOURS trying to recover the files from my mac-formatted ipod and
close to 2 HOURS trying to repair my quicktime and itunes, which stubbornly refused to delete all their components completely, hence i had to use windows install cleanup utility to delete them and run registry cleaners 6 times. GRRR.
The ipod was worse. after 4 hours of being cheated by some Data Recovery Ipod software thing which spent 1+ hour analysing my ipod and gave me empty folders after that, i realised that teh solution was something SO SIMPLE that i wanted to cry. (haha i didn't)
Its called MACDRIVE 7. Its so cool that installing it allows you to access any mac-formatted stuff as if you were using a windows & mac at the SAME time.

Had a wonderful bible study about worship and its importance in the morning. And i discovered that i was guilty of a serious sin, so i repented and hopefully will continue to do so.

On a sidenote, I'm being informed that my blog is chim. Which is why i post at unearthly hours when my brain cells are almost dead so the vocab is less daunting. Dunno why they still say chim leh, must be they don't read. HAHA>-<

end of this long post.
jazz....

REVIVAL!!!

2008-02-28T23:37:00.004+08:00

Last Message Dated 28 Feb (shows my laziness...grrr)
Yay! My blog is back in action. After i spent a grand total of 30 mins correcting its screwed up layout, it is finally as nice as it is meant to be.
Whee ok i shall skip the long descriptions of chinese new year and whatnot from 1 Jan to 28 Feb, which is effectively my BLOG HOLIDAY, and carry on to describe today.
Today was a cool day. I dunno why but i feel its the best day i have had in many days of my life, at least since cny ended. Perhaps its due to my quirky nature and randomness, but i do believe it was ordained by a force greater than myself. Now I understand the true meaning of what they mean when you commit your day to God, meaning that you not just pray, but you really believe that what you want will happen and then let the day pass smoothly. Like, I simply didn't stop to reflect how happy i was, until the moment when i whipped out my com and started typing, then i realised.
Whee I feel so confident and happy now!!! :)

8 March 08
The sole reason i'm blogging at such an unearthly hour when my brain cells are dying (read:non existent) is that this would be a 5 min post. so its ok.
Just came back from a long day from school (with a grand total of 1 HOUR of lessons, cos all HP teachers didn't bother conducting them due to a lvls). Accordingly, we get 26 MARCH 08 off due to the splendid results!!! Yayyy... congrats to all j3 seniors who did our school proud.
oh, i tend in support to HCI, don't completely LOVE head over heels, but like feel a sense of belonging to it.

most/ more importantly, I watched the sequel to death note, L change(d) the world TODAY! yay it started at 9.50 pm and ended at 12.10am, explaining this unearthly hour. Its quite a nice show, given that i have NO knowledge of the original anime/comic whatsoever, the supposedly modified movie storyline is rather well-plotted and creative i guess. No spoilers for today.
jazzRatings of the Movie:
Plot: 8/10 (actually 9, the plot is quite cool. but -1 due to some excessively gory scenes that would have been fitting for a horror movie, rather than a PG anime sequel...)
Acting/Action: 8/10 (quite fantastic)
Music: 5/10 (rather non-existent, normal background music stuff)
Humour: 7/10 (if you must watch this movie as a comedy, the antics of L are enough to make you laugh. Loudly, i must add.)
Cinematography: 8/10 (well-shot, no blurs.flickers etc)

TOTAL: 36/50, recommended

ok i took a grand total of 9 mins.

jazz...sleepy.

Back to School Blues

2007-12-30T22:17:00.001+08:00

Okay was feeling lazy and slacky during holidays and
thus didn't post anything.
Will try my best to detail everything since my last post.

Nov 19--PIANO EXAM!!! repeated ATCL again and
i'm still (optimistically?) waiting for my results
(patiently...averages about 70 days.)
i think i did fine but i was too nervous and
committed a significant number of mistakes :(.

Nov 29- Dec 2
Randomly decided to work at sitex, promoting
laser printers. Stood until my legs ached and
managed to sell 7 in 4 days.
It wasn't very good but i thought
was a bright first attempt anyway.

Dec 4-11
TRIP TO KOREA...
I feel like posting photos, rather than words...
The photos are above.

That's about it. Will update the rest later.

jazz

Return/Revival of the Martians!

2007-11-11T21:17:00.000+08:00

Dunno about that random title anyway. the martian legacy lives ...?
I've been told that my english is chim. Since when? it isn't.
anyway, have to recover that lost ground of two months plus
of non-blogging. its contagious, continuous, i mean,
when the stop=blogging blues come.
i dunno what i mean...

(in chronological order)
1. Exams
I did fine for exams anyway. The results were like better than expected.
and NO i did NOT score 80 for everything. unlike my church ppl believe.
got 65 for maths though, due to a freaking hard exam paper.
oh and i scored 20/20 for SRQ...:) not showing off any further.

2. Batch Dinner
Held at Hilton, the batch dinner was replete with fun, laughter and joy.
memories afresh grips me like never before, reminiscing about the
splendid evening. (the food sucks though)
the high point of the event was the best-dressed competition thingy,
which i won (surprise,...) as a joke due to our beloved schoolmates.
(MOST PROMINENTLY ALFRED)
oh alfred. i still remember that platinum friend promise...:)
anyway, it boiled down to the jess...AH??? quote.
i don't remember it being my catchphrase anyway...

3. Church
Church was fun. I still remember that lame joke i made
about fractions and staircases. ;)
our outreach event yesterday was fun.
and delicious due to the steamboat.
(krystle, we don't mean to niao your sauce.
it was really nice. and i doubt you poisoned anyone)

4. Piano
Grr. My exam is 19 Nov. and i'm still making mistakes.
never mind.
pray for me can. ;)

Ok, thats about it/
will blog more when i have the inspiration., :)

Jazzz...
martian child is a movie by the way.

Friend List (Don't complain)

2007-08-15T00:05:00.000+08:00

Platinum: Adeline

Platinum: Khang Wen

Platinum: Jun Xin

Platinum: Felix

Platinum: Daoyuan

Platinum: Peter

Platinum: Qi Han

Platinum: Ming Liang

Platinum: Aaron

Platinum.mug: Jian Hua

Leroy

Wenbo

All HPers

All 4Gers

All church members in order of sequence:

Gerald, Matthew, Branden

Anlynn, Valerie, Isaac, Ajay, Chloe

Daniel, Jade, Julie

Leaders: Krystle, Pauline, Angel

All 6G’03ers (subject to restoration of status)

Debbies and Rachels
others

Have deliberately deleted the surnames of ppl
to stop guessing and restrict tracing of identities.
and my church has a natural distortion of
gender ratio , its like 5:3...

Of course, I didn't put too prominent individuals.

And admitted, the no. of females on the list is
everyone i know.

Above all, everything above is true.
Jiahao

Whee! Count your blessings

2007-08-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

In total contrast to everyone out there,
i am feeling unfortunately happy, due to:
(1) end of test season (heh. no prelims IP mah)
(2) got bonded by 3 friends today...
(experiencing true bonding, in the physical sense)
(3) knocked my head on the door,
cos my fiend pushed me
(4) im just happy LOR.

And i totally agree with this powerful 3 words:

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

You know, if i really wanted to crazily be sad,
I would have reacted violently to (2) and (3),
but its fun to engage in fights,
as long as they are for fun and laughter.
No one gets hurt if you don't harm them what.

And i do realise the HOPELESS stress season
for all Sec 4s out there (doubly hard for non-IP:(
just relax can???

Sooner or later, exams are going to
become a distant reality...

Anyway, for girls, theres only 6 years of education left,
for guys, crap lar, we've got 8, due to ****** NS.
fine. dun wan to get caught by police,
but the notion of forced NS is ****.

Whatever. got scolded for sleeping during
SLIM'S LESSON.
He said hes going to dump me
STRONGLY RECOMMEND
for the classic BCME combi.

I felt like whacking him, lar :)
Never mind,
I'm going to mug bio hardcore and
backstab him left, right and centre
if he continues his crapping.

Cos ill do Lit, Econs, Chem and Maths...
anything EXCEPT history. HAHA.

(after all, history is only my 5th pet subject).

and im going to agitate him by
telling him i spent quality time mugging
biology INSTEAD of history...

GRRR, no more slim today.
On a brighter note,
I did better during lit cos
it was another (random) day where
I plucked out relevant quotes from Macbeth.

No more shakespeare lar.

On to the scene of friendships,
(cos im not going to academicize anymore);
I feel like i've got a wide circle of friends.

And so, pls adeline, can dun grouse abt
friends criticising others?

seriously, i dun even bother about
childish ppl reading through my
handphone messages nowadays.
anyways, theres nothing juicy like
i love you OR i break up crap
in it./.

ok fine lar.
if you want to get more ppl angry,
GO send i love you to the following:
(1) angel
(2) krystle
(3) pauline
(4) .......
HAHA.
after all church ppl always
say i love you in church mahz;
im sure they wont mind.

Ok, im going to post my friend list
for fun today.

Nationaldayz....

2007-08-09T22:53:00.000+08:00

nation-building!!!! some say its propaganda, but I beg to differ...
okok. must avoid discussing s'pore historiography.
(hpers, the tutorial is quite interesting though...)

watched the fireworks from ONE MARINA BOULEVARD
today....
LOVED the 7-minute display....

but of course certain ppl had a much larger role to play
in the ndp celebrations....

i do enjoy this year's ndp songs...
OH, but Kit Chan's song is horribly difficult to sing to...
addicted to WILL YOU liao.

M: Will you make this island
Amazing in all ways?
Surprises every corner,
Delightful nights and days.

F: Will you take this country
And turn it from a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face?

M,F: Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?

So… Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And… Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?

Will you take this city
And turn it into a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face

Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?

Dare to find, dare to find, dare to find new ways!

OF COURSE WE WILL!!!

got my internet connection repaired tdy at the
expense of sacrificing a church activity (Battlefield 2987...)

and if anyone is interested in
(1) good food
(2) conducive study environment
(3) great place to date in (relative) secrecy and quiet
and
(4) has $15 to spare

Han's is a nice place to go to (its in the
Great Eastern Building opp China Square.)

thats all.
jazz...forever musical....

Revival!

2007-08-04T17:46:00.000+08:00

Haha. festival of praise rawks.
and i'm super exhausted now.
having to sit for 4 tests in 4 days and another
5 tests on monday and tuesday.

tests hold no meaning for me now...
and im glad cos i no longer see the point of that
golden 1.00 msg, which is like...YAY!!!

schools getting slacker...in wonderful class 4G...
haven't been posting for v.long due to
emotive fluctuations.
feel better now...haha:)

really enjoyed Festival of Praise,
what with that multitude of people
cheering delirious? on in the
majestic indoor stadium,
topped off by the aura of god's presence.

spirituality forms solace, forevermore...
oh, and music is majestic too...
having fun playing piano...
and of course, i love singing soprano...
(when no one's listening...)

studies get me nowhere...;)

reversal of circumstances?
i can always try to
crap my way out of exams.

oops. jiahao...

Extreme Extrovert and HARRY POTTER!

2007-07-14T01:44:00.000+08:00

Hi all,
gotta reiterate today that being TALKATIVE is the
norm for me...OKzzz???
Entertaining phone calls for 30 mins and above is
my way of communicating AND
i DO APOLOGISE to all those who get pissed
cos i irritate them. haha!
i'll go talk to other friends lorz.

and for the preservation of friendships, any
sense of anger expressed due to my irritation WILL
make me 'dao' your hp. no/contact for 7 days, ok?
then no need to feel angry liaoz.

HAHA AND HARRY POTTER WAS SUPER NICE!
although its abt 145 min long, the touching and
beautiful scenes DO spread a profound sense
of quality.

and boys SHOULD AVOID staring at the cast
cos all the girls are teens and are as 'chio' as ever.
and girls shoudn't stare at harry potter
kissing cho chang TOO. ;)

and i really enjoyed watching with ncc friends.
who are the most frank in the world
(esp. shen hong and jianhua.)
message goes that i seem extra talkative
so i'll cool down larz.
no point spamming ass. discussions when i can sleep.

to those who are prepping 4 o-levels,
i do pray that you can try to remain unstressed
and happy...

and dun irritate others. ;)

Retarded Idiots taking photos of me in RGS.
thats crazy!!!!!!
(anyone who mentions yanhan will be
KILLED by me... laughing allowed though.)
jazz

Disturbances Galore...

2007-07-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

juz wondered why we need leaders as
student councillors, prefects etc...?
is it...
(1) to lessen Jeffrey Lim's duties?
(2) to befriend girls
(3) to organise useless and crappy activities
that are ad-hoc and random
(4) for SLC or (5) to whack up school policies...

Though leadership and authority constitute responsibility,
few leaders can portray themselves as
caring WITHOUT being arrogant.
Portraying an arrogant attitude
undermines the leader and degrades him mahz....

and then who needs leaders in a leader school anyway...

test tmr. and now im informed of
(1) irritating friends
(2) harry potter craze AND
(3) slacking;
so i'll sleep.

~OFFICIALLY renouncing the
.MUGGER virus
in my system. ~

jess

RGS rawks. SLIM roars. Jazz stones.

2007-07-11T20:34:00.000+08:00

Probably the most gender-oriented statement
you're going to get,
but I do have to concede that the
V-P of the Student Council (RGS) carries herself
with poise and dignity, much unlike
backstabbing isparkys in HCI. ....
While I'm trying to make my way to RGS,
the isparks conveniently dumped me along Orchard Road
and i alighted at the Paragon bus stop, luckily,
to chance upon former NHPS friend/Head Prefect,
Yan Han, and asked her for directions.

(ps. and got slammed for being OVERT and outright
juz for a simple appreciation. but then. never mind.
my fault. insensitivity of gender roles......)

In 15 mins, I entered RGS just 1 min ahead of
backstabbing isparks. Thats why.,
mainstream is better.
(oh, er, and i shan't comment about the alleged
relationship in 6G between ** and ******.)

entering into an academic school of excellence,
i do realise the difference between
good breeding and bad taste.
Asking any rgs girl directions to their hall is
at least 10 times easier than getting someone
in hci to tell you how to get to the general office
for example.

Which is the subtle diff. between
arrogant people AND humble people.
and (*ref. the nanhua education policy*?)

Point proven.

It was enlightening to discuss about
cultural prejudice, covering concepts of
*gender prejudice (against females),
*prejudice against domestic workers,
*media and cultural prejudice...

(i also notice that rgs has a grand piano for
free practice, showing the musical disposition.)

what i dun like was that i took 1 hour jamming
in the traffic to get home.

(hence roars DON'T breed discipline nor character.)
(Point proven. hence slim and mr hon and the
big shots BETTER revise their character building
framework,
else we end up like Retarded Idiots (somewhere).

jazz....